I’ve been thinking about vulnerability from the perspective of an author — from someone who chooses to write from the heart and then put that work out there for people to read, mock, love, hate, etc. I make myself vulnerable on a daily basis, but after listening to a TED talk shown below, I realized I’m missing a key element to vulnerability, and that is I have not fully embraced it and made it okay. I haven’t accepted that what makes me beautiful is my imperfection.
I feel a lot of shame about things like my imperfect body, mistakes I’ve made, the way I forget so many things, the fact that I’m not a big bestseller.
But … it should be (although it isn’t yet) … my too-fat thighs? They’re imperfect. They make me me. That zit on my forehead? It means I’m human and alive. The first book I published and all those things I’d write better now that I have more experience under my belt? It’s imperfect. It’s who I was then and makes me now. The mistakes I’ve made? They have molded me into who I am.
The price of invulnerability, i.e, believing — we must be perfect, we must have it all or we are worthless, we must get an agent and sell big or writing isn’t worth it, we must lose weight to feel accepted and worthy and beautiful, we must have control, we must know what will happen — the price of living that way is a great price indeed. Watch this video to learn what that price is. It’s worth the time. Like her, it might take me years and a long fight to get to where I need to be. Where are you in your acceptance of imperfection?
Thank you to Linda Cassidy Lewis for sharing this video with me.