Today I’m not thinking about anyone specifically, but I’ve had this subject on my mind for a very long time. It hurts when other don’t acknowledge our success because it might not be an obvious success. For instance, when I self-published there were some people who never said a word about it or seemed to care. I’ve wondered a thousand times that if that book had come out from a large New York publisher if those people would have cared then. Now that I’m with a small publisher, my mind goes in the same direction. If there are some people close to me that don’t seem to care, would they care if I had a larger publisher, if I made the New York Times Bestseller list? If I did things a more conventional way?
More than likely, these people I care about will never truly care about these successes of mine. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that this doesn’t mean they don’t care about me.
Much of this might have to do with content. Your grandma might not wish to read the violence or love scenes you put in your book. Much of it might have to do with hobbies. Maybe your cousin simply doesn’t like to read, and even though you did everything together as children, he’d rather pat you on the back for making a hole-in-one at the golf course than finishing that novel and getting an agent. He simply “doesn’t get it.” Then again, maybe you don’t get something that means a lot to him. Imagine that.
So what do you do at this point? Do you zip your mouth shut around friends and family members who obviously don’t care about what you do? Do you talk about your hobbies – your job – anyway? What if it’s your spouse? I have one friend who writes. It’s her passion, but her husband has never read any of her work. That depresses me. I need the support of my husband, but I figure I’d keep writing anyway if he didn’t care. After all, I think it’s best if we don’t write for the approval of specific people. I’ve done that before, and it’s no fun when it collapses at your feet.
Maybe this is all because we know that if we were to reach these people who don’t care, that would be the ultimate success. Maybe.